letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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