She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
