What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish i was in the wii world.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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