sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
