operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He better not be in your backpack
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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