Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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