@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
