oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
