i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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