I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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