Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So here I am, sexting at work.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
