1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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