Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
