Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
