I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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