i would punch a child for taco bell
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
