I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize