Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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