Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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