literally had 100 drinks last night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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