I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
