I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
