Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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