READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
