Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can Purell be used as lube?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
