More tranny stories later!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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