@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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