I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
