I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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