Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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