Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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