we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
