Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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