Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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