I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
