Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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