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talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
