ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
