I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
