so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
