I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
