I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
