dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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