you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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