so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
