We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
