She is in my trunk
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
