Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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