He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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