I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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