I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
