You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
