Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
