well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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