Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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