what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
