Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
