bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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