the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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