Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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